I swear, if I didn't know better I would think that gnomes were sneaking into my room at night to play lacrosse on my legs. That's the only thing that can explain all the bruises. I know that I'm a clutz and that I am physically incapable of walking in a straight line but I didn't really think that I ran into THAT many things. I woke up this morning and was putting on my shoes and noticed a real doozy of a bruise right across my ankle. I have no idea how I came by it. Occasionally I do something really stupid, like rolling off of my bed onto a trashcan. Those bruises I can understand. But really now, this is just getting ridiculous.
I have to go clean my kitchen.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Oh me, Oh my
My very first blog. How very exciting. I will probably not be able to write very frequently seeing as how most of my free time is devoured by either working from open to close or hugging virtual eggs to get hatchy points. I couldn't just leave the poor blog completely blank though. It would look too naked.
My mother made me start knitting. She dragged me kicking and screaming to the couch, hog tied me, pinned my eyelids open and made me learn how to knit, I swear. Now I have like fifteen projects that either I want to do or other people want me to do and I still can't even do a damn stockinette stitch. The fact that a psychotic two month old kitten keeps darting in to snap at my needles like a dog after an arby's roast beef sandwich in no way helps my endeavors. I am knitting a hat for my friend's daughter because not only is it her birthday but she just had brain surgery. Also, on a more selfish note, I figured that the one person who wouldn't care if she got a lumpy hat with uneven stitches was a little kid. It seemed like the perfect solution. Novae(the kitten), however, has already forced me to rip out my budding creation like four times. The other four times I had to rip it out were my fault but we're going to ignore that for the time being. The little shit for brains keeps dive-bombing my needles while I'm busily trying to purl. Grrrrr.... If hellion kitty does not stop I will never get my stockinette stitch right and I may have to gnaw on her little kitty ears until she begs for mercy.
Oh, and one of my "guests" at work yesterday told me that she was thinking about ordering desert but she was looking at my size and remembering that they were quite fattening.
....
I very seriously considered smashing her face in with a tray and then whistling to myself as I walked away from the bloody hole where her head used to be.
I comforted myself with food. =)
My mother made me start knitting. She dragged me kicking and screaming to the couch, hog tied me, pinned my eyelids open and made me learn how to knit, I swear. Now I have like fifteen projects that either I want to do or other people want me to do and I still can't even do a damn stockinette stitch. The fact that a psychotic two month old kitten keeps darting in to snap at my needles like a dog after an arby's roast beef sandwich in no way helps my endeavors. I am knitting a hat for my friend's daughter because not only is it her birthday but she just had brain surgery. Also, on a more selfish note, I figured that the one person who wouldn't care if she got a lumpy hat with uneven stitches was a little kid. It seemed like the perfect solution. Novae(the kitten), however, has already forced me to rip out my budding creation like four times. The other four times I had to rip it out were my fault but we're going to ignore that for the time being. The little shit for brains keeps dive-bombing my needles while I'm busily trying to purl. Grrrrr.... If hellion kitty does not stop I will never get my stockinette stitch right and I may have to gnaw on her little kitty ears until she begs for mercy.
Oh, and one of my "guests" at work yesterday told me that she was thinking about ordering desert but she was looking at my size and remembering that they were quite fattening.
....
I very seriously considered smashing her face in with a tray and then whistling to myself as I walked away from the bloody hole where her head used to be.
I comforted myself with food. =)
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